Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize