their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
