I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
