I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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