my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You are a genius and a whore.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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