apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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