ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
