If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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