Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
