That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
