So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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