yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
