i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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