69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize