Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
