Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
How external is "for external use only"?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
