ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
