he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
