508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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