im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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