I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
