my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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