So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
