Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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