Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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