Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
