oh god the rape fog is back!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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