And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
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I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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