Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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