Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
