one two three fourrrrnication!
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
