and next time when you feel me up, do it right
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
