I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
