it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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