You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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