I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
