We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
