some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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