Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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