you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
