like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
