So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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