he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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