Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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