I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Small penises have feelings too.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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