Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
