porn star boner night. come get it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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