How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
