i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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