:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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