time to smoke my breakfast
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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