So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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