I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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