Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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