i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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