I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
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Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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