My nipple is on Facebook.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
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after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
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This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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