Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We left the knife in your bed.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize